I thought this breed of article was long dead...

I was wrong. So so wrong. But, unlike most times in which i have been wrong, this time I am glad. You see, I though that the days of the "raging rhinoceros escaping from the zoo"-esque news stories died out with Harry Truman. But alas, this is a story to thrill and entertain.

Why would I celebrate a rampaging creature on the loose, you may (and rightly) ask? Well I'll tell you. It is a rare occurrence to be surprised anymore. We hear shocking new all of the time: war, famine, disease, earthquake, etc. We hear shocking material, yet we are not shocked ourselves. We have come disassociated with our world. We are comfortably numb with our surroundings and nothing short of a major disaster can penetrate our cloud of perceived isolation. Either that, or a bulletin about a large, dangerous animal that has escaped only a few blocks away.

So I say thank you to Ralph, the South American rhea, for breaking a few lucky individuals out of the monotonous drone of sensational news and letting them peek in on how the crazy stuff that happens in out world is real. It's funny how a six-foot emu-like beast with six-inch, razor-sharp claws can help us realize how real the news is. So, Ralph, again I say thank you.

Fierce.